Tips for Successful Online Relationships
Finding a person online that intrigues you enough to pursue an online relationship is difficult. Once you have found that person you need to revisit the age old issues of developing that relationship. In many respects, some may say that online relationships are easier then in person relationships. But, in reality it is pretty much the same, just a little bit more removed. Dating tips are essentially the same, but they are a little more subtle then if you are face-to-face. Safety Even if the person sounds fantastic online you must be aware that there are some people out there that are being all you want them to be, but with ulterior motives.
The very first piece of online dating advise is to not to give the person on the other end any numbers like telephone or PIN numbers regardless of how good they sound. Be honest with yourself Relationship advice is always a bit suspect because we are all a bit different. Dating advice from one person to another only reflects that one person giving the dating advice and not necessarily how it applies to you. Always take advice on dating and apply it, with modification, to who you are. Don’t fudge about who you truly are, it will only come back to haunt you later on.
Slow and steady One dating tip for a quality online relationship is to take it slow. Some might more aptly call this dating tip the restriction of to-much-information (TMI.) You do not need to have an online relationship develop 100 percent in one or two weeks. Let the personal information out slowly. A little mystery will go a long way to building the relationship. Inflection This particular piece of online dating advice is one item that requires a bit of work. Voice inflection when online is lost. Inflection is one of those things that we really take for granted. Quite a bit of meaning is lost without it. If you are sarcastic (like me) you can quickly lose somebody on the other end if they don’t know how the words are intended.
This is one of the reasons that the LOL and smile face type notations have come about. The problem is, many people find these notations a bit “cutesy.” The online dating advice here is to use words to explain your inflection rather then symbols. So, if sarcastic, simply insert (sarcasm) into the text or use uppercase (OH BOY!!!) for very happy or (OH BOY) for can you believe what he did. Conversation Most people say that the art of conversation is dead. In a certain sense this also applies to online dating. Using text abbreviations and assumptions make online relationship building even more impersonal then it already is. This particular piece of online dating advice could be applied to regular relationship building as well. Use simple but descriptive whole worlds to describe what you are discussing. The right word will say quite a bit about who you are.
For example: I like kayaking because of the way the paddle slips into the calm water works better then paddling is relaxing. You will come off as a bit more refined rather then just another person online. Don’t impose This is perhaps the hardest piece of advice for dating online to get used to. It is so easy to use a word that imposes a thought, belief or need onto another person without even knowing that you are doing it. If there is one thing that will stop an online relationship dead in its tracks it is imposing yourself on another. Once your online relationship progresses a bit you may loosen up a bit with this piece of relationship advice but until then always defer to the other person in the way you phrase a sentence. Make sure you make it known how you feel, but be sure that the wording reflects the other person’s ability to disagree or agree. Be positive Nobody likes a “gloomy Gus” when they get online. They really don’t want to be in an ongoing relationship with such a person, unless they happen to be a gloomy Gus. Stay up beat when you are writing with your online friend.
Sure, everybody has their down days, and that is fine to share. It shows that you are becoming comfortable with that person. If there starts to be a pattern, however, you may want to assess what is going on with yourself personally or with a friend but there is really no need to share it online. If your assessment leads to a life change for the better…well, that is a great thing to share. Relationship advice or not, good news is a turn on for most. Be open ended Just about everybody has heard the phrase “leave them wanting more.” This holds true for online dating. You might think about your daily online conversations or your longer term relationships as a multi-course dinner. Always leave the person salivating for the next course.
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